I recently asked a friend what she thought were the ingredients of an engaging or successful parent support group (PSG). “Well, that’s a no-brainer,” she replied. “All you need is to have a slate of achievements and glitter of talent together in one place.”

Hers is an answer that, initially at least, seems almost impossible to disagree with. How often, after all, have you heard anyone complain about having too many achievements? Yet, a stellar lineup will not necessarily make for a memorable PSG experience. A seemingly unrelated succession of achievements, no matter how good, is a bit like listening to Top 40 radio; it gives you nothing else to do, in the end, but sit there and admire how marvelous it all is.

I believe that a great PSG, on the other hand, asks us to make connections, just as great art does. It encourages us to discover the joy, not so much in what we do, but in why we are here. So what are two simple truths that connect us all in Family@Barker?

The first simple truth is that, as parent volunteers, we all dare greatly. Whether it is at prayer meetings, in the classrooms, or preparing and serving food to staff and students, we give of ourselves – our vulnerabilities, our wisdom, our compassion – and just showing up for the things and people we care about, even when we think we have nothing to give.

As parents, we might have struggled with feelings of self-doubt and hopelessness, but we have also found a way of acknowledging that our struggles are not so different from those of other parents. We find courage in our community of over 200 parent volunteers, and we come together through 12 ministries and over 3000 collective hours of seeking to improve the lives of others in this community. For many of our parents, volunteering is not by accident but by choice, and they demonstrate this abundantly through their commitment to Nurture the Mind, Nourish the Body and Sustain the Soul of our sons, staff and fellow-parents of ACS (Barker Road).

Secondly, we live in a world obsessed with the questions about what life will give us and are often out of touch with the question of what life expects from us. For example, we may ask what rewards we can expect for joining a PSG, or what our schools and governments should be doing to make our lives better.

What I have found striking about Family@ Barker however is how we constantly ask ourselves what our sons, staff, fellow-parents and God expect from us. We also find our work to be deeply fulfilling because we know that our acts have a lasting legacy, and that we take up the mantle from the generations of volunteers who came before us. Our prayers therefore are for a calling rather than an inheritance, and these are the lenses through which we experience the PSG.

These two simple truths are neither new nor revolutionary by any measure, yet they are vitally important in the path we must collectively discover for ourselves. Our answers to which path to take may vary from person to person, or they may change as the work evolves around us, but we take heart that these simple truths will hold us steadfastly to our mission.

For it is by daring greatly and asking what life and God expect from us that we tear at the seams of our presumptions. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the enormity of our challenges as parents or as a PSG, but whilst no one can do everything, everyone can do something. So we choose to see our parents as warm guiding beacons, our teachers as caring mentors, and our children as great kids. For it is when we dare to see the world through rose-coloured glasses that roses begin to appear.

Sophia Kan
Chairperson, Family@Barker